Pierre the Pelican after Plastic Surgery

Do you remember how Pierre the Pelican, the New Orleans Pelicans NBA team's new mascot, was terrifying everyone on the internet?  The newly minted bird monster was parodied in just about every creative way possible.  He was photoshopped into Edvard Munch's The Scream, stills of Carrie, The Shining,and just about every other horror movie ever made, and on and on.  Well apparently, Pierre let all the criticism get to him and negatively affect his self-esteem, because he's just undergone massive plastic surgery. Pierre revealed his "new face" at the 2014 NBA All-Star game. His doctored beak now looks closer to a real pelican than an evil clown, though he still isn't what we could really call attractive. But with plastic surgery, where does it end?

Let's do the comparison:

A real pelican

Scary Pierre the Pelican BEFORE

Pierre the Pelican POST-OP

The First United Naked Church of Virginia

In nudist news, a Christian church outside of Richmond, Virginia, has been successfully holding all their services in the buff.  The members of the congregation and their Pastor Allen Parker say the nakedness is symbolic of the equality among all people before God and is not at all sexy.  Pastor Parker went on to say that the whole point is "baring his soul to Christ, " and no, he did not start giggling when he said this.  I've seen a documentary on nudist colonies, and I have to say I fully believe him regarding the unsexiness factor; nudism doesn't seem to be a magnet for the most attractive members of the population. And while I agree that clothes can really differentiate members of a community and identify disparities in economic and social status, there is already a solution for this - uniforms.  These people just need to send an order off for some matching robes or jumpsuits or whatever they wear in North Korea.

My favorite part of this church is that many members still come to the services naked in the winter - when the temperature regularly dips into the 20s and they're freezing and shivering.  Now that is dedication!  Church ladies everywhere need to step up their game.

[PHOTO CENSORED!]

Central VA Congregation worships nude