A Seagull Serial Killer Copycat?

About a year ago, Louisiana's Jackoby Bertot ran afoul of the Migratory Bird Act of 1918 for running over 49 defenseless seagulls with his truck in a shopping center parking lot outside New Orleans.  Now, 17 year old Wesley Franatovich has been arrested for the exact same crime in the exact same parking lot.  The teen killed two birds, which makes him our second seagull serial killer.  Whether he got the idea from reading about Bertot's crimes is unknown.  Most likely, he just couldn't resist the urge to scatter a flock of seagulls. However, his father says his darling son didn't mean to kill any birds while driving through the dense gathering of approximately 500 gulls and wants us to believe that young Wesley is just a bad driver.

This guy's not buying it.

http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2014/08/teen_arrested_accused_of_runni.html

Pierre the Pelican after Plastic Surgery

Do you remember how Pierre the Pelican, the New Orleans Pelicans NBA team's new mascot, was terrifying everyone on the internet?  The newly minted bird monster was parodied in just about every creative way possible.  He was photoshopped into Edvard Munch's The Scream, stills of Carrie, The Shining,and just about every other horror movie ever made, and on and on.  Well apparently, Pierre let all the criticism get to him and negatively affect his self-esteem, because he's just undergone massive plastic surgery. Pierre revealed his "new face" at the 2014 NBA All-Star game. His doctored beak now looks closer to a real pelican than an evil clown, though he still isn't what we could really call attractive. But with plastic surgery, where does it end?

Let's do the comparison:

A real pelican

Scary Pierre the Pelican BEFORE

Pierre the Pelican POST-OP

Scary Pierre the Pelican

The NBA team the New Orleans Hornets changed their name to the New Orleans Pelicans, and last night they introduced their new mascot Pierre the Pelican.  Pierre is yellow and blue with an enormous red clown mouth and a giant mohawk.  In other words, he doesn't look anything like a pelican.  Pierre looks a lot more like a scary monster, and he has the internet on edge.

Here's a rundown of the different ways Pierre has struck terror into the hearts of bloggers everywhere:

The Pelicans' New Mascot Pierre Will Haunt Your Dreams (Bleacher Report)

The 10 Most Terrifying Pictures of Pierre the Pelican (Black & Gold Review)

Pierre the New Orleans Pelican is the scariest thing ever, the internet responds (SB Nation)

New Orleans Pelicans unveil terrifying new mascot (USA Today)

Pierre the Pelican draws a sharp social media reaction (Nola.com)

The New Orleans Pelicans' Mascot Is Here to Terrify Your Children (Dead Spin)

The New Orleans Pelicans' Mascot is Terrifying Everyone (Daily Dot)


We even have lone wolf Alex Woodward coming to Pierre's defense:

I support Pierre the Pelican, and so should you (Gambit Online)


Now, judge for yourself. Happy Halloween!!

A real pelican

Pierre the Pelican

Jackoby Bertot, The Seagull Serial Killer

Birds everywhere can sleep better tonight after a terrifying seagull serial killer has been apprehended. The perp, Jackoby Bertot of Labadieville, Louisiana, is facing possible jail time for the brutal murders of forty-nine defenseless seagulls in a suburb of New Orleans. Allegedly, Bertot used his white pickup truck to run over the birds in the parking lots of various businesses; investigators say a surveillance tape from one of the businesses was key in cracking the case. Seagulls, surprising as it may seem, are protected under federal law by the Migratory Bird Act of 1918, which is being used to prosecute Bertot.

The deepest condolences are offered to the home colonies of the birds who have tragically passed away.  However, it must be admitted that gulls, though the victims in this shocking case, have garnered a fair amount of criticism themselves over the years. Some have called them "the rats of the sea" and condemned seagulls for pecking at whales, bugging people at the beach, and being obnoxiously loud. It is currently unknown what may have motivated Jackoby's savage killing spree, but psychologists may speculate whether he was harboring a grudge forged through bad experiences with gulls in the past - perhaps in his formative years.  While we can't put ourselves in the mind of such a ruthless killer, it is possible that a recent Gulf Coast vacation plagued by seagull droppings may have caused him to snap.

Authorities identify man accused of running over, killing 49 seagulls in Elmwood

The Blue-Footed Booby

A type of seabird, the Blue-footed Booby is most famously associated with the Galapagos Islands, where the species was first studied by Charles Darwin.  They are also famous for their intriguing mating ritual.  Male Blue-footed Boobys attract mates by showcasing their bright blue feet in a sexy dance.  The dance may appear awkward to humans, as seabirds are quite clumsy on land and have been compared to drunken clowns staggering about.

When dancing, the brightness of the suitor's feet is very important.  Dullness of the pigmentation is a sign of ill health, and females only lay their largest eggs for beaus who display brilliant blue hues.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-footed_Booby

This Bird admiring his reflection and his awesome orange mohawk

This Woodpecker really likes looking at himself in the mirror.  Can you blame him?