Rob Ford is back!

We can all sleep a little sounder at night, because Rob Ford has returned!  The prodigal, crack-smoking Mayor of Toronto reemerged a few weeks ago after a stint in a mysterious drug rehab facility in the States, and he's ready to get back to governin' and running his reelection campaign.  Of course, the rehab facility in question may or may not exist.  If you remember the Mayor's departure, he described his destination as a clinic in the Chicago area that many pundits noted bore no resemblance to any drug rehabilitation center in existence in that area.  There was also suspicion that he never crossed the Canadian border.  Add to that the fact that Mayor Ford specifically made a point to not promise that he won't relapse, and there are a lot of questions regarding whether The Mayor has really given up his habits of copious boozing and then, in his words, "trying every drug in existence."  In unrelated news, he told a reporter yesterday,  "I have never quit anything in my life."

Rob Ford Vanishes!

For those of you keeping up with your Rob Ford news, everyone's favorite crack-smoking alcoholic who is also in charge of a major Canadian metropolis has gone missing. Sound the Amber Ale alert!

Toronto's notorious but strangely lovable Mayor suffered further embarrassment recently when yet another video surfaced of the eccentric politician smoking crack cocaine. If this footage keeps popping up at this rate, there will be enough material for a "Rob Ford Smokes Crack" boxset to bring to the White Elephant party next Christmas. But in the meantime, the Mayor must be found!

Ford's recent disappearance from City Hall has all the villagers guessing where he could be hiding. His fiercely loyal brother claims the Mayor has entered an alcohol rehab program in Chicago; the only catch is that there is no alcohol treatment facility fitting his description in Chicago.  Border agents for the U.S. say there is suggestive evidence that the Mayor never even crossed the border.  So where is Mayor Ford?  Surely, all the crackhouses in Canada have already been checked. Is he holed up in a basement somewhere? Running around Toronto in a clever disguise? Let's get looking.

Rob Ford Update - Part 2

Everyone's favorite crack-smoking Canadian politician continues to amaze. In recent days, Mayor Ford has shocked reporters with his vulgar language at a press conference and knocked down an elderly councilwoman during a meeting in City Hall.  To be fair, he did pick the woman back up after he accidentally bowled her over!  Meanwhile, the Toronto City Council continues its efforts to strip Rob Ford of his powers, which Mayor Ford describes as a "coup d'état."  

Rob Ford Update!

Toronto's favorite crack-addled mayor still refuses to step down.  At a recent city council meeting, Mayor Ford resisted the factions forcefully pressing for his resignation and countered by introducing a motion to drug test the entire city council!  Ford said he knows other council members are also drug users, and that while he "isn't a rat" and won't start naming names, he also won't stand for this hypocrisy.  So people of Toronto, don't worry that your mayor smokes a few rocks.  His replacement most likely would do the same! And since Ford's motion to drug test the council didn't pass, we can't even determine which members are clean.

Rob Ford, Toronto's Crack-Smoking Mayor

Toronto, Canada's Mayor Rob Ford is taking the sleazy politician vibe to a whole new level. I'm from Louisiana, so I don't have very high expectations. The majority of our elected officials end up doing time in prison after their terms end. But I'm still surprised when the mayor of a large city publicly admits he smoked crack during one of his many drunken stupors and expects everyone not to worry.  Ford gave a press conference about his drug use today, where he said he feels a million times better getting all this out in the open and doesn't have any plans to step down.  His argument seems to be that yes, he often gets black-out drunk and may smoke crack, visit a crack house, or who knows what when he's in such a state, but he doesn't believe this makes him any less effective as the mayor of 2.5 million residents.  Then again, should we listen to a guy that doesn't even remember the times he smoked crack?

Toronto Mayor Ford admits crack cocaine use, won't step down